2 Things I Learned Today

So two things became very clear to me today:

1) The rain obviously contains some sort of chemical that when breathed into 99% of people's lungs causes their brains to turn off while driving a car, truck, minivan, bus, SUV, Hybrid, or any other motorized vehicle allowed on the road. Luckily, or possibly unluckily, I belong to the other 1% that seem to be immune to the effect of the rain, and in turn have to suffer at the hands of these people. I am sorry, but just because there is a little bit of water dropping from the sky, does that mean you can not go the speed limit and need to constantly hit your breaks for miles on end???

2) It doesn't really matter what type of car you drive, it means nothing towards the type of person or driver you are. You could be an old man in a convertible sports car, you still drive like an old man. You could be a rich middle-aged woman in a BMW you are still parked in the left lane going 5 miles under the speed limit talking on your cell phone. And you may be a 20-something guy driving a Mustang/Lexus/Camaro/Civic, you are still a meat head who will try and race off the line at a red light only to have to wear out your brakes to stop at the red light at the next intersection.

So yes, even though it was a rather uneventful day, I was still able to observe and learn a few things...

The Music in Her

My daughter has become my pseudo DJ whenever we are in the car. She requests...let me rephrase that, she TELLS me what she wants to listen to whenever we are driving. It has become quite comical, as well as a bit frustrating at time, but I must say that I adore the love that she is showing to have for music.

Her musical taste is mighty eclectic, as is a direct reflection of my wife and I. Her favorite musicians include 3 Doors Down, Metallica, Staind, Lady Gaga, Jennifer Lopez, and Billy Joel, just to name a few. She will, at any moment, tell out that she wants to hear one of the above mentioned artists, but not just by name but also certain songs (eg. "Piano Man", "Kryptonite") and sometimes by which track number ("The beginning song Daddy!"). But what I find most intriguing is how she will sit stone-faced the first time she hears a song/CD and then ask for it to be repeated over and over again. I finally realized she was doing this because she was trying to listen to the lyrics and memorize them (thus one Saturday afternoon several weeks ago when we had to listen to "On the Floor" by Jennifer Lopez about 25 times).

In addition to loving to listen to and memorizing songs, I have noticed that she will also at times start tapping her hands on her lap as if playing with the drum beat, or strum her hand as if playing the guitar, things no doubt she learned by watching me as I am driving. She truly does have the music in her, and it makes me a very proud Daddy...

All HOPE

While driving to work yesterday I came to a stop light, and on the back of the Mini Cooper in front of me was the bumper sticker shown here on the right. As I sat there waiting for the green light (pretty ironic given the current state of our country and economy), something occurred to me. This picture and the word below it are very telling, and kind of sum up where we are at. HOPE.

You see, no one can complain that Obama isn't doing what he had promised to in his campaign, nor can they say it was false advertising. You see, the bumper sticker slogan says it all, HOPE. When I look at this picture, I see the mindset that is taking us down. What most people who ended up voting for him say in this picture was "I will give you hope for a better future". But what I see, and I think it is becoming the reality as the days go by, is that it means "Let's hope that I can do a better job than the last guy". Unfortunately, not only is he not doing a better job and getting us out of a very troubling situation, but he is actually doing the opposite.

Think back to when you were a child, whether it be at home or school or any organization you were part of, and the meaning of words. When you are in athletics or any competitive activity, do they teach you to "hope" you go out and do well? No, they tell you to believe in yourself and think positively that you can get it done. No one goes out and says "I hope I can win today", or "I hope I can do my job". It is almost as if this slogan gives a built-in excuse, the ability to say "hey, I told you to HOPE I could do it".

The future of this country should not be built on HOPE, it should be built on knowledge and confidence. Hoping that we can get out of the troubles that our country is in is not going to do it. Hoping we can put people back to work and get our of the Middle East and stabilize the economy isn't going to make it happen. The country was convinced by the media and ad campaigns that by voting for Obama this gave you HOPE of a brighter future, but in the end shouldn't we trust our country in the hands of knowledge and confidence instead of HOPE??? so maybe this next election we can vote for someone who isn't HOPING to do a good job...

How Old is Too Old?

Today I began to think about where my life is compared to what I wanted out of life when I was younger. You know, how when you are a kid and the whole "When I grow up I want to be a ____" thing. We all usually have these grandiose ideas of what we want to be, like a pro athlete, an actor, a doctor, the president, etc. So it got me to thinking, at what point are we "grown up", and how old is too old to continue chasing a childhood dream?

For me, I had always wanted to be a baseball player, or at least into my early teenage years. After that, I began to play music and learned to play guitar and it became wanting to be a rock star and play music for a living. As much of a passion as I have always had for music and playing guitar, it is something that I never seriously pursued. I played in a few makeshift groups when I was in my teens and early 20's, but nothing that panned out. Then I began working "real" jobs when it came to the point of needing to make a living. and now here I am 35 years old with a wife, child, mortgage and a "real job", which has nothing to do with music or any other childhood aspirations. Not that I ever really gave up on my dream and passion for music, but life just kind of happened and it wasn't a priority. I am sure this is something that many people, probably most, have gone through, but maybe I just obsess over it more than most.

And so now I sit and think, as I have many times before, if it is something I could ever fall back into if I tried to follow that distant dream? When do we come to the realization that this is what our life is going to be, that this is our reality? At what point do we give up the idea of chasing childhood dreams? Or is it a healthy thing to always have an eye on something more??

Is it selfish to want something more for yourself, when you have a life that is set and complete? Sure, some things you can go to school for as an adult and change courses, but others age gets in the way. At 35 you can't start up as a pro athlete (unless you are looking to join the Pro Bowling Association maybe), nor do you see many musicians who got their start that late in life. And when you have a job and a family and bills, it isn't as easy as saying "let me start over and try this instead".

So when is it time to look ahead and not behind? How old is too old to want to try and catch a taste of the sweetness of dreams you had in your youth? This is a question I ask myself all the time...

A Great Life

So what is it that makes a great life? Is it fame? Fortune? Having everything you ever asked for? What exactly is it that makes a life great? It is the question that everyone asks yet not many can answer. We all think we know what makes a great life, or at least what we think would make US happy. But what is it that truly makes for a great life? This is something that I, as I am sure many other grapple with each and every day. the answers usually seem so simple, yet extremely shallow at the same time. Sure, we would all love to have the perfect job, the perfect spouse, the great house and car. But is that it? Is that the answer?

It is so easy to think that a great like means to have it all, the house, the car, the girl, the money, the fame and fortune...but is that what makes a life great, or even happy? Happiness is not in what you have, yet in what you make. It's the age old philosophy "money doesn't buy you happiness". this is very true for the most part. Money alone can't make you happy, nor can fame or anything else that strokes the ego. Money and all the spoils might give you the opportunity to be happy, but it is up to us to make our own happiness. A lack of money, though, can definitely make your unhappy and make for a rough life, but also doesn't not guarantee misery. Life is what you make of it, rich or poor, famous or obscure. The key is finding what it is that makes you happy and what makes your individual life great. the answers though, might not be so easy.

So what makes a life great? Does winning the Lottery make it great? Does having a gorgeous wife make life great? Does being a rock star or professional athlete make life great? Does driving a fine Italian sports car make life great? I am sure the answer to each of those questions is YES, but on their own they are just individual accomplishments. At the end of the day, whether we are rich or poor, famous or not, we all need to look at ourselves in the mirror and see who we really are and what we have around us. Life is full of examples of people who seem to have it all, yet end up on the news in tragedy. the tragedy is not in that they had it all and lost it, but yet that they thought they had it all but in reality didn't have a great life.

trust me, I am far from one to say that I have it all figured out, because trust me I don't. But writing is part of me helping myself find the answers that I have been looking for, the answers I am sure many are looking for. I have a decent job that I enjoy and a beautiful wife and wonderful daughter. I also have a very deep passion for life. I have many interests, some that I am able to enjoy and others that I struggle to find time for. And as much as a part of me feels that those things that my life does not enable me time for are the things that would make for a great life, more and more I realize that it is the things that are in front of me that are great. But more so than the "things we have", what makes life great I believe are the things we do. People get so caught up in the rat race, in trying to get this and have that, that we sometimes forget our passions and to just enjoy the ride.

It's like obsessing over taking pictures of each and every moment of a child's life and upbringing. As much as I want to document every day of my daughter's life so that I will have the pictures to look back on, there are many times where I remember too late and regret not getting something on film or in print. But then I realize that instead of being there behind a camera recording something, I was actually there enjoying the moment with her, and that those memories will live forever in my mind. To me that is living, THAT is a great life. Being able to see the pure join in a little girl's face when she sees or experiences something new, now that is a great moment. Trying to make every holiday, vacation, or birthday the most memorable, is living a noble life. Realizing that the most important people in your life are those you say goodnight to each and every day is realizing what makes life great. sacrificing your own time and wants and needs in order to make your kids lives the fullest and happiest they can be is part of a great life.

You see, we may never find out what it is that makes for a great life. We may never know the true meaning of happiness. We might never be able to actually "have it all". Even if I am never a rich rock star, I can still have a pretty good life. As I have come to realize little at a time, the key to life is living. each and every day gives us a chance to live, a chance to make that day a great day. Sure, each day also has the opportunity to throw any number of problems our way, but those too are not what defines us or our happiness. It is what we do with those problems and how we learn from them and get past them that make life great or not. If we take everything, both good and bad, and learn from it and grown from it and life our lives with passion, then we will then be closer to living a great life...

The One Word

I have been called many things in my short time on this planet. I have been called son, brother, friend, foe. I have been called cousin, uncle, teammate, coworker. I've been called boyfriend, lover, ex, and husband. But there is one thing I have been called that means more to me than anything else...DADDY.

There is just something that happens when that little voice of my daughter's says that word, Daddy. It can be in a moment of need when she is sick, or a moment of fright when she isn't sure. It can be when she is playful and giggling, or when she is tired and saying goodnight. But even when she says it in anger or frustration, it is still the most soothing thing to my ears. Even when she is acting up and has me frustrated to no end, when I hear that word Daddy it just melts my heart and makes things a little bit brighter.

Just knowing that someone is so reliant on you, and so influenced by your words and actions makes you want to be a better person. And as much as we as parents have an effect on the way our children see the world, the thing they will never quite understand is how they do that very same thing to us...

Don't Silence the Soundtrack

I started playing music when I was in the 6th grade. My elementary school offered music classes twice a week as a preparatory for middle school. I chose the trumpet because that is what my older brother had played, and since he had since move on to the tuba I could use his old trumpet for my lessons. From there I moved into middle school and continued to play the trumpet, and then baritone and trombone. Playing music in school was something that I enjoyed, a release and a challenge all in one. But as I have grown older I have realized how much music has actually taught me, and how much it has molded my life.

I have always loved music for as long as I can remember. It has kind of been the soundtrack to my life. I can relate music to so many memories...summer days in the pool listening to Chicago and Michael Jackson and Neil Diamond at my parents' house, the Beach Boy Christmas playing in the background as we decorated our tree, listening to Def Leppard's Hysteria cassette repeatedly as we drove to New Jersey from Florida on a family trip. These are all life experiences that music has helped to stamp into my brain. Just like in a great movie where you can picture a certain scene when you hear a song being played, so has been my life. So it was only natural for me to want to be part of the music myself.

Sure, many kids dream of being rock stars when they are young, and I was no different. My younger brother and I would dress up like rock musicians and put on performances for our family lip syncing and pretending to play guitars that were actually tennis rackets. I can remember the exact moment when I knew I wanted to play guitar for real. I was at home watching MTV (this is when they actually played music videos) and saw Van Halen's "When it's Love" video. The scene was a dimly lit bar, with the band playing and a lot of close ups. I remember seeing ans hearing Eddie Van Halen play so crisply in the song, and instantly I thought to myself "I can do that". So when I was 16 my parents, broke down and got me an electric guitar for Christmas. It was the best gift ever, and over time I taught myself to play. Now I am a marginal player at best, but playing guitar, which I still do when I find the time, is a great outlet for me and I still get so much enjoyment out of it.

Playing music, both in school and on my own, has taught me so much. In a time where school music programs are being cut left and right, it saddens me because I can see all the good that can come out of teaching children about music. start with the fact that you are teaching them a skill, something that may or may not lead to a profession, but something that they will always be able to take with them. Along with that, it is the lesson of sticking with something and practicing it over and over in order to get better. It is a lesson that can be applied to anything they might do throughout their lives. In addition there are tremendous math skills that are honed when learning about and how to play music. Keeping time and learning the different lengths of notes are all mathematical elements.

Another important lesson that comes along with teaching children to play music is the social aspect. We are teaching kids not only how to read music and play in instrument, buy also how to do these things TOGETHER. The interaction between different parts or instruments, the breaking down of insecurities by having to play around others. These are all things that help to grow a child's character. In addition, you are teaching your kids culture, and about different styles and histories that they otherwise wouldn't learn about. For the four years I was in high school I played in the marching band where I was exposed to traditional marching styles as well as popular music transposed into a marching theme, the concert symphony where I learned classical styles such as Bach and Wagner, the jazz band which taught me studio jazz as well as the Latin fusion styles, and then pursued my own personal passions of rock and metal music while playing guitar on my own. What other skill or extracurricular activity offered in schools can give children exposure to such a diverse collection of experiences? And all of this while teaching them how to interact and become a strong individual.

Music is what drives me, it is what motivates me, it is what heals me. I prefer rock and metal music to others, but have and do listen to all other kinds such as Pop, Latin, Country and Hip Hop. I have a very diverse variety just in the CD changer in my car, which can range from Korn to 3 Doors Down to Tom Petty to Marc Anthony. to me, great music is great music, regardless of the genre or who it is that makes it. There is nothing more powerful than hearing a song that gives you goosebumps and hits a chord inside you because you can totally relate to the story or issue being sung about. And at the same time, at least for me, there is nothing more intense than hearing the perfect crushing guitar riff that just makes you want to bang your head or sway around. Music can make you cry, make you dance, make you smile, or make you think. And to me, that last one is the most important. Music makes us think. It makes us think about what the person who wrote it was thinking about, it makes us think about how we relate to it, and it makes us think about how they actually made it. What better lesson to teach our kids?

So today, while you are working or driving or watching TV, take notice of how many times you hear some sort of music. Then think to yourself what that music does to you, and how it makes you feel. Whether it be a CD you play on your drive home, or a soundtrack to your favorite TV show or movie, or even just a sample during a commercial, imagine what your life would be like without that music there. Then think about the fact that we are slowly taking about the roots of where that music comes from by dropping music classes from schools and not exposing our children to this wonderful craft. If we stop teaching our kids about music and how to make it, eventually we will be taking away the heart and soul of so many parts of our lives, silencing the soundtrack of our lives...