The Jury

About a month ago I was selected for jury duty. Not only did I have to report, but I ended up being selected as one of the eight to serve for a civil trial. As with most people, I was not necessarily looking forward to the idea of spending a week or two in court with complete strangers. But on the other hand, as someone who watches a lot of crime dramas on TV and movies I was also somewhat interested by the opportunity to experience these things in real life.

For the integrity of the judicial process, I am not going to get into what the trial was about, nor the results. For the purposes of this blog, they are inconsequential anyways. But what came of this experience for me were several things.

The first is that the jury process, for as much of an inconvenience as it is for most people, works. What I saw and was so impressed with was that eight people from all different backgrounds, ages, sexes, races, and careers could take the responsibility set upon us seriously, get along and work together, and also ultimately form just about the same opinions after seven days of testimony. This is all you can hope for if were to find yourself in the unfortunate situation of being in court yourself one day, to know that the people in charge of your fate are doing their best to do their job to the best of their ability.

The other thing I took out of this experience was that this group that was assembled because of it's apparent differences and balance ended up meshing so well. On the outside we couldnt' have been more different, but yet in the time we spent in the jury room while the judge and lawyers worked out issues (which was A LOT), we all became very close. We shared stories of our lives, our families, our jobs, our sports teams. Because we could not speak about the case until testimony was over, we had to talk about anything and everything else, which we did.Several people once we reached the end how if even just one person had been replaced how it could have potentially changed the entire dynamic and atmosphere, and this was very true.

Given all these things, the most important thing that came out of all this was that the jury system works. We were lucky to have been assigned to a judge and court reporter who were very well-natured and helpful, us jurors all got along well, and most of all we took the task given to us seriously. Not to mention, I don't think I am alone in feeling like I made some friends for life...

5 Albums that Changed My Life

So one thing about me is that music is a huge part if my life, always has been. I remember as a child my parents always had records playing of Neil Diamond, The Beach Boys, and Michael Jackson. On long trips in the car up an down the eastern seaboard listening to oldies on the radio. As I grew older I would play various wind instruments in school, and eventually picked up the guitar.

So listed here are 5 of the most influential albums TO ME. This in no way is a reflection of what I feel are the best albums ever, or necessarily my favorite. They are simply the ones that had a significant effect on me both musically and emotionally:

1- Master of Puppets (Metallica): Could possibly be one of the top albums not only in metal history, but in history all together. The speed and technicality of the songs is second to none. This took the shredding that was on their first two albums, and harnessed it into more precise songs, and added a groove that made my blood pump. The lyrical content touching on various social and interpersonal issues. Just all together struck a cord in me and made me want to shred on my guitar and also to start writing lyrics of my own.

2- Nevermind (Nirvana): I can still remember the first time I listened to this album, and being totally immersed in it and thinking that this was something I had never heard before. It took the haunting melodic sway into loud crushing choruses. They were simple songs that somehow carried a swagger. You could feel the pain and discomfort that Kurt Cobain carried with him through his words and guitar, and the violent drum beats of Dave Grohl kept the head banging throughout.The fact that Nirvana has such a limited catalogue has lead to a lot of overplayed songs, but whenever I go back and listen to this CD from start to finish it is as exciting as it was back then.

3- Rage Against the Machine (Rage Against the Machine): When a friend of mine first played this album for me, I was floored. When he then told me that it was just a four-piece with no keyboards or synths, and that all the odd sounds and screeches I heard were Tom Morello playing his guitar through a single effects pedal, I was in total disbelief. Rage Against the Machine created something completely different, mixing rap vocals with funk and metal grooves, adding in heavily politicized topics. This was an album that rock and metal heads could head bang to, and rap fans could sway to. It was, and still is, an album like no other, and they were truly originals.

4- Dirt (Alice in Chains): This album is pretty much a diary or the struggle with which Layne Staley had with substance abuse, a struggle he eventually would lose. The haunting tone in Staley's vocals through out strike a nerve, and you can tell how cathartic is was for him to tell of his use, abuse, and disgust of what he had become. Add to that the vocal counter-melodies of Jerry Cantrell, as well as "Rooster", a song about his father's battle with life post-Vietnam service. Again, an album that I can listen to start to finish, and every time I get totally immersed in it.

5- Ashes of the Wake (Lamb of God): I was big into metal in high school and shortly after, and then kind of lost touch with a lot of the newer metal in the years after that. But about 6 or 7 years ago I started to get back into it, and the one album that was responsible for raising my adrenaline levels and the hairs on the back of my neck was Ashes of the Wake by the band Lamb of God. Their third album, it is their first, in my opinion, that had true direction and top notch production. Most of the songs focusing on political distrust and displeasure with the wars overseas, the album is full of passion as well as some of the most precise and technical guitar and drum work you will find on any rock or metal album. Ashes of the Wake reminded me of why I had become a metal fan to begin with as a teenager, and has once again struck that nerve in me in my thirties.

I Remember

Today marks the 11 year anniversary of the most horrific day in recent history. It marks the anniversary of the day that changed the way we live our lives forever. And today, on another Tuesday, September 11th, the weather was comfortable and clear just as it was that fateful day. I remember the following days, weeks and months, and how things felt and how they changed.

I remember...how the entire country stopped, whether it was New York City, California, or anywhere in between. Not only did the airline industry stop all air traffic for 2 days, but people stopped what they were doing and gathered and consoled each other and just took time to reflect and to mourn. Suddenly, the hustle and bustle of everyday life slowed and people found time to reflect of how precious life really is.

I remember...the kindness that poured out of so many. Rescue personnel as well as plain civilians flocked to Manhattan to help in any way they could, whether it be in clean up or recovery or just doling out supplies to those who were. Corporations, athletic teams, churches, and communities from all over the surrounding areas and the rest of the countries collected, sent, and helped distribute food and living supplies to rescuers and those impacted. Communities around the country, as well as some in Canada, who took in and welcomed with open arms those who's planes had been grounded in areas other than their destinations, and made the ordeal a lot less troubling. It was a time where the good in the American people truly shined bright.

I remember...the patriotism that this horrible event brought out of just about everyone. Never before had you seen so many people bearing American flags outside their houses, on their cars, on their clothing. You would hear groups chanting impromptu "USA, USA, USA" cheers at sporting events, speeches, concerts, and anywhere else large crowds were gathered. Whether at a star-filled concert at Madison Square Garden to benefit victim's families or a New York Mets or Yankees baseball game, both the spectators and the stars beamed with not only hurt and sorrow, but they also showed a great sense of pride to be Americans.

I remember...the unity towards one common belief, which was a belief in Our Country. In the years leading up to 9/11/2001, Rudy Giuliani hadn't been the most popular mayor in New York City history. But the way he conducted himself after the attacks and the way in which he united not only a city but also the country made him a beloved leader. People stopped seeing him for the political differences they made have had, but instead for his compassion, his leadership and the way he made people feel safe and secure in an otherwise turbulant time. President Bush, still in his first year in office, was dealt an unprecedented situation, and handled it in a very calming and decisive manor. He stood up for the country he was in charge of leading, and took swift action. Unfortunately in the years to follow there were many short comings and failed plans, but none of that should take away form the actions taken that put faith and pride back into our great country initially.

It is sad that it takes this one day each year to think back and remember how things WERE following the attacks of September 11th. What was undoubtedly the worst day in American history brought out the best in people and in a country as a whole. With each passing year, though, that pause and kindness and patriotism and especially unity has tarnished and slipped further and further away. With time wounds heal, but with time all these positives that we gained have also faded. We are at a time in our history when things are not very good. Whether it be financial woes, social issues, immigration and race tensions, or political debates, the country is as divided in 2012 as it was unified in 2001.

So please remember...the way our great country joined together in the face of it's darkest time. Remember the feeling of pride and patriotism and how we were all Americans. Whether you are Republican or Democrat, regardless your ethnicity, whether rich or poor or in between, we need to all take pride in being AMERICAN, and help to better this glorious country our ours. It's time to fight for our common goals and forget the whole "me first" mentality. This country was founded on the belief of "We the People", and it is time that we all remember what those words meant to the founding fathers, what they meant after 9/11/2001, and what they mean now...

Are You Ready for Some Football???

So this weekend began another new football season...a time where fantasy leagues and weekly pools and instant replay become household terms and sanity and tranquility take a temporary reprieve. Yes, every sport has it's share of fanatics and blind devotees, but there is something a little different about football and the football season in general. Unlike the other sports, football games are all played on Sundays (with the exception of the Monday night game...oh, and now the Thursday night game...um, and some Saturday games late in the season), which creates something of an event for many football junkies.

Sundays during football season are something of a holy day for sports fans, where rituals and habits become normal and elevated decibel levels are understood and for the most part accepted. From when she was an infant, my daughter has worn Tampa Bay Buccaneers outfits and hair bows every game day during football season. She learned how to say "Let's Go Bucs" shortly after learning how to say "mommy" and "daddy". She now knows at 4 years old that Daddy is not really mad at anyone when he is yelling at the TV during the games (well, except maybe the stupid play calls or the Swiss cheese defense), but instead just really into the games.

Yes, Football season is very much a unique time in many households. To me, football is the one sport where I can watch just about any game even if my team isn't one of those playing, and really enjoy it. And so for people like me the NFL Sunday Ticket is a glorious invention. Being able to watch any and all games on Sunday, I almost need the relief of the lone Sunday night game in order to give my thumb a rest from clicking back and forth from game to game for 8 hours.

So here's to another season, another year of hope and pride, beer and snacks, jerseys and rally towels, big screens and surround sound, cheering and cursing. I am definitely ready for some football...

2 Things I Learned Today

So two things became very clear to me today:

1) The rain obviously contains some sort of chemical that when breathed into 99% of people's lungs causes their brains to turn off while driving a car, truck, minivan, bus, SUV, Hybrid, or any other motorized vehicle allowed on the road. Luckily, or possibly unluckily, I belong to the other 1% that seem to be immune to the effect of the rain, and in turn have to suffer at the hands of these people. I am sorry, but just because there is a little bit of water dropping from the sky, does that mean you can not go the speed limit and need to constantly hit your breaks for miles on end???

2) It doesn't really matter what type of car you drive, it means nothing towards the type of person or driver you are. You could be an old man in a convertible sports car, you still drive like an old man. You could be a rich middle-aged woman in a BMW you are still parked in the left lane going 5 miles under the speed limit talking on your cell phone. And you may be a 20-something guy driving a Mustang/Lexus/Camaro/Civic, you are still a meat head who will try and race off the line at a red light only to have to wear out your brakes to stop at the red light at the next intersection.

So yes, even though it was a rather uneventful day, I was still able to observe and learn a few things...

The Music in Her

My daughter has become my pseudo DJ whenever we are in the car. She requests...let me rephrase that, she TELLS me what she wants to listen to whenever we are driving. It has become quite comical, as well as a bit frustrating at time, but I must say that I adore the love that she is showing to have for music.

Her musical taste is mighty eclectic, as is a direct reflection of my wife and I. Her favorite musicians include 3 Doors Down, Metallica, Staind, Lady Gaga, Jennifer Lopez, and Billy Joel, just to name a few. She will, at any moment, tell out that she wants to hear one of the above mentioned artists, but not just by name but also certain songs (eg. "Piano Man", "Kryptonite") and sometimes by which track number ("The beginning song Daddy!"). But what I find most intriguing is how she will sit stone-faced the first time she hears a song/CD and then ask for it to be repeated over and over again. I finally realized she was doing this because she was trying to listen to the lyrics and memorize them (thus one Saturday afternoon several weeks ago when we had to listen to "On the Floor" by Jennifer Lopez about 25 times).

In addition to loving to listen to and memorizing songs, I have noticed that she will also at times start tapping her hands on her lap as if playing with the drum beat, or strum her hand as if playing the guitar, things no doubt she learned by watching me as I am driving. She truly does have the music in her, and it makes me a very proud Daddy...

All HOPE

While driving to work yesterday I came to a stop light, and on the back of the Mini Cooper in front of me was the bumper sticker shown here on the right. As I sat there waiting for the green light (pretty ironic given the current state of our country and economy), something occurred to me. This picture and the word below it are very telling, and kind of sum up where we are at. HOPE.

You see, no one can complain that Obama isn't doing what he had promised to in his campaign, nor can they say it was false advertising. You see, the bumper sticker slogan says it all, HOPE. When I look at this picture, I see the mindset that is taking us down. What most people who ended up voting for him say in this picture was "I will give you hope for a better future". But what I see, and I think it is becoming the reality as the days go by, is that it means "Let's hope that I can do a better job than the last guy". Unfortunately, not only is he not doing a better job and getting us out of a very troubling situation, but he is actually doing the opposite.

Think back to when you were a child, whether it be at home or school or any organization you were part of, and the meaning of words. When you are in athletics or any competitive activity, do they teach you to "hope" you go out and do well? No, they tell you to believe in yourself and think positively that you can get it done. No one goes out and says "I hope I can win today", or "I hope I can do my job". It is almost as if this slogan gives a built-in excuse, the ability to say "hey, I told you to HOPE I could do it".

The future of this country should not be built on HOPE, it should be built on knowledge and confidence. Hoping that we can get out of the troubles that our country is in is not going to do it. Hoping we can put people back to work and get our of the Middle East and stabilize the economy isn't going to make it happen. The country was convinced by the media and ad campaigns that by voting for Obama this gave you HOPE of a brighter future, but in the end shouldn't we trust our country in the hands of knowledge and confidence instead of HOPE??? so maybe this next election we can vote for someone who isn't HOPING to do a good job...

How Old is Too Old?

Today I began to think about where my life is compared to what I wanted out of life when I was younger. You know, how when you are a kid and the whole "When I grow up I want to be a ____" thing. We all usually have these grandiose ideas of what we want to be, like a pro athlete, an actor, a doctor, the president, etc. So it got me to thinking, at what point are we "grown up", and how old is too old to continue chasing a childhood dream?

For me, I had always wanted to be a baseball player, or at least into my early teenage years. After that, I began to play music and learned to play guitar and it became wanting to be a rock star and play music for a living. As much of a passion as I have always had for music and playing guitar, it is something that I never seriously pursued. I played in a few makeshift groups when I was in my teens and early 20's, but nothing that panned out. Then I began working "real" jobs when it came to the point of needing to make a living. and now here I am 35 years old with a wife, child, mortgage and a "real job", which has nothing to do with music or any other childhood aspirations. Not that I ever really gave up on my dream and passion for music, but life just kind of happened and it wasn't a priority. I am sure this is something that many people, probably most, have gone through, but maybe I just obsess over it more than most.

And so now I sit and think, as I have many times before, if it is something I could ever fall back into if I tried to follow that distant dream? When do we come to the realization that this is what our life is going to be, that this is our reality? At what point do we give up the idea of chasing childhood dreams? Or is it a healthy thing to always have an eye on something more??

Is it selfish to want something more for yourself, when you have a life that is set and complete? Sure, some things you can go to school for as an adult and change courses, but others age gets in the way. At 35 you can't start up as a pro athlete (unless you are looking to join the Pro Bowling Association maybe), nor do you see many musicians who got their start that late in life. And when you have a job and a family and bills, it isn't as easy as saying "let me start over and try this instead".

So when is it time to look ahead and not behind? How old is too old to want to try and catch a taste of the sweetness of dreams you had in your youth? This is a question I ask myself all the time...

A Great Life

So what is it that makes a great life? Is it fame? Fortune? Having everything you ever asked for? What exactly is it that makes a life great? It is the question that everyone asks yet not many can answer. We all think we know what makes a great life, or at least what we think would make US happy. But what is it that truly makes for a great life? This is something that I, as I am sure many other grapple with each and every day. the answers usually seem so simple, yet extremely shallow at the same time. Sure, we would all love to have the perfect job, the perfect spouse, the great house and car. But is that it? Is that the answer?

It is so easy to think that a great like means to have it all, the house, the car, the girl, the money, the fame and fortune...but is that what makes a life great, or even happy? Happiness is not in what you have, yet in what you make. It's the age old philosophy "money doesn't buy you happiness". this is very true for the most part. Money alone can't make you happy, nor can fame or anything else that strokes the ego. Money and all the spoils might give you the opportunity to be happy, but it is up to us to make our own happiness. A lack of money, though, can definitely make your unhappy and make for a rough life, but also doesn't not guarantee misery. Life is what you make of it, rich or poor, famous or obscure. The key is finding what it is that makes you happy and what makes your individual life great. the answers though, might not be so easy.

So what makes a life great? Does winning the Lottery make it great? Does having a gorgeous wife make life great? Does being a rock star or professional athlete make life great? Does driving a fine Italian sports car make life great? I am sure the answer to each of those questions is YES, but on their own they are just individual accomplishments. At the end of the day, whether we are rich or poor, famous or not, we all need to look at ourselves in the mirror and see who we really are and what we have around us. Life is full of examples of people who seem to have it all, yet end up on the news in tragedy. the tragedy is not in that they had it all and lost it, but yet that they thought they had it all but in reality didn't have a great life.

trust me, I am far from one to say that I have it all figured out, because trust me I don't. But writing is part of me helping myself find the answers that I have been looking for, the answers I am sure many are looking for. I have a decent job that I enjoy and a beautiful wife and wonderful daughter. I also have a very deep passion for life. I have many interests, some that I am able to enjoy and others that I struggle to find time for. And as much as a part of me feels that those things that my life does not enable me time for are the things that would make for a great life, more and more I realize that it is the things that are in front of me that are great. But more so than the "things we have", what makes life great I believe are the things we do. People get so caught up in the rat race, in trying to get this and have that, that we sometimes forget our passions and to just enjoy the ride.

It's like obsessing over taking pictures of each and every moment of a child's life and upbringing. As much as I want to document every day of my daughter's life so that I will have the pictures to look back on, there are many times where I remember too late and regret not getting something on film or in print. But then I realize that instead of being there behind a camera recording something, I was actually there enjoying the moment with her, and that those memories will live forever in my mind. To me that is living, THAT is a great life. Being able to see the pure join in a little girl's face when she sees or experiences something new, now that is a great moment. Trying to make every holiday, vacation, or birthday the most memorable, is living a noble life. Realizing that the most important people in your life are those you say goodnight to each and every day is realizing what makes life great. sacrificing your own time and wants and needs in order to make your kids lives the fullest and happiest they can be is part of a great life.

You see, we may never find out what it is that makes for a great life. We may never know the true meaning of happiness. We might never be able to actually "have it all". Even if I am never a rich rock star, I can still have a pretty good life. As I have come to realize little at a time, the key to life is living. each and every day gives us a chance to live, a chance to make that day a great day. Sure, each day also has the opportunity to throw any number of problems our way, but those too are not what defines us or our happiness. It is what we do with those problems and how we learn from them and get past them that make life great or not. If we take everything, both good and bad, and learn from it and grown from it and life our lives with passion, then we will then be closer to living a great life...

The One Word

I have been called many things in my short time on this planet. I have been called son, brother, friend, foe. I have been called cousin, uncle, teammate, coworker. I've been called boyfriend, lover, ex, and husband. But there is one thing I have been called that means more to me than anything else...DADDY.

There is just something that happens when that little voice of my daughter's says that word, Daddy. It can be in a moment of need when she is sick, or a moment of fright when she isn't sure. It can be when she is playful and giggling, or when she is tired and saying goodnight. But even when she says it in anger or frustration, it is still the most soothing thing to my ears. Even when she is acting up and has me frustrated to no end, when I hear that word Daddy it just melts my heart and makes things a little bit brighter.

Just knowing that someone is so reliant on you, and so influenced by your words and actions makes you want to be a better person. And as much as we as parents have an effect on the way our children see the world, the thing they will never quite understand is how they do that very same thing to us...

Don't Silence the Soundtrack

I started playing music when I was in the 6th grade. My elementary school offered music classes twice a week as a preparatory for middle school. I chose the trumpet because that is what my older brother had played, and since he had since move on to the tuba I could use his old trumpet for my lessons. From there I moved into middle school and continued to play the trumpet, and then baritone and trombone. Playing music in school was something that I enjoyed, a release and a challenge all in one. But as I have grown older I have realized how much music has actually taught me, and how much it has molded my life.

I have always loved music for as long as I can remember. It has kind of been the soundtrack to my life. I can relate music to so many memories...summer days in the pool listening to Chicago and Michael Jackson and Neil Diamond at my parents' house, the Beach Boy Christmas playing in the background as we decorated our tree, listening to Def Leppard's Hysteria cassette repeatedly as we drove to New Jersey from Florida on a family trip. These are all life experiences that music has helped to stamp into my brain. Just like in a great movie where you can picture a certain scene when you hear a song being played, so has been my life. So it was only natural for me to want to be part of the music myself.

Sure, many kids dream of being rock stars when they are young, and I was no different. My younger brother and I would dress up like rock musicians and put on performances for our family lip syncing and pretending to play guitars that were actually tennis rackets. I can remember the exact moment when I knew I wanted to play guitar for real. I was at home watching MTV (this is when they actually played music videos) and saw Van Halen's "When it's Love" video. The scene was a dimly lit bar, with the band playing and a lot of close ups. I remember seeing ans hearing Eddie Van Halen play so crisply in the song, and instantly I thought to myself "I can do that". So when I was 16 my parents, broke down and got me an electric guitar for Christmas. It was the best gift ever, and over time I taught myself to play. Now I am a marginal player at best, but playing guitar, which I still do when I find the time, is a great outlet for me and I still get so much enjoyment out of it.

Playing music, both in school and on my own, has taught me so much. In a time where school music programs are being cut left and right, it saddens me because I can see all the good that can come out of teaching children about music. start with the fact that you are teaching them a skill, something that may or may not lead to a profession, but something that they will always be able to take with them. Along with that, it is the lesson of sticking with something and practicing it over and over in order to get better. It is a lesson that can be applied to anything they might do throughout their lives. In addition there are tremendous math skills that are honed when learning about and how to play music. Keeping time and learning the different lengths of notes are all mathematical elements.

Another important lesson that comes along with teaching children to play music is the social aspect. We are teaching kids not only how to read music and play in instrument, buy also how to do these things TOGETHER. The interaction between different parts or instruments, the breaking down of insecurities by having to play around others. These are all things that help to grow a child's character. In addition, you are teaching your kids culture, and about different styles and histories that they otherwise wouldn't learn about. For the four years I was in high school I played in the marching band where I was exposed to traditional marching styles as well as popular music transposed into a marching theme, the concert symphony where I learned classical styles such as Bach and Wagner, the jazz band which taught me studio jazz as well as the Latin fusion styles, and then pursued my own personal passions of rock and metal music while playing guitar on my own. What other skill or extracurricular activity offered in schools can give children exposure to such a diverse collection of experiences? And all of this while teaching them how to interact and become a strong individual.

Music is what drives me, it is what motivates me, it is what heals me. I prefer rock and metal music to others, but have and do listen to all other kinds such as Pop, Latin, Country and Hip Hop. I have a very diverse variety just in the CD changer in my car, which can range from Korn to 3 Doors Down to Tom Petty to Marc Anthony. to me, great music is great music, regardless of the genre or who it is that makes it. There is nothing more powerful than hearing a song that gives you goosebumps and hits a chord inside you because you can totally relate to the story or issue being sung about. And at the same time, at least for me, there is nothing more intense than hearing the perfect crushing guitar riff that just makes you want to bang your head or sway around. Music can make you cry, make you dance, make you smile, or make you think. And to me, that last one is the most important. Music makes us think. It makes us think about what the person who wrote it was thinking about, it makes us think about how we relate to it, and it makes us think about how they actually made it. What better lesson to teach our kids?

So today, while you are working or driving or watching TV, take notice of how many times you hear some sort of music. Then think to yourself what that music does to you, and how it makes you feel. Whether it be a CD you play on your drive home, or a soundtrack to your favorite TV show or movie, or even just a sample during a commercial, imagine what your life would be like without that music there. Then think about the fact that we are slowly taking about the roots of where that music comes from by dropping music classes from schools and not exposing our children to this wonderful craft. If we stop teaching our kids about music and how to make it, eventually we will be taking away the heart and soul of so many parts of our lives, silencing the soundtrack of our lives...

Who's Fault?

There was a time, not that long ago as a matter of fact, when our people were held accountable for our actions and mistakes. It seems like so long ago. But today we have become a society not only blames our shortcomings and bad choices on someone else, but where courts and doctors and pretty much everyone accepts these excuses. And I say excuses because that is exactly what they are. Do you remember when you were little and your parents would say to you "I don't want any excuses"? That was because they knew damn well that whatever it was that you did to get yourself in hot water, it was your fault. But today, that statement has been replaced by "Who showed you/taught you/allowed you to do this?". In other words, it's never your fault anymore, it's always someone else's fault. We are no longer held responsible for our actions, our bad decisions are most likely the result of our parents or because we should have never been allowed to have the chance to screw up. It has led us down a path that scares me to death, because if everyone is pointing their finger at someone else eventually we run out of people to blame, and then what?

It can be as simple as someone spilling hot coffee on themselves and suing the fast food joint for it being too hot, AND WINNING A MILLION DOLLARS. Instead of applying the rules of common sense and throwing this case out because the person should have been more careful with an obviously hot beverage, the courts opened up the gate for frivolous lawsuits by setting the precedent that it's not the idiot holding the hot food's fault if they get hurt, it's the supplier for not putting a label on it stating that it is hot. On which planet this makes sense I don't know, but it is now the norm here on earth, or at least in the USA.

Doctors are most guilty of this social epidemic, as they feed into the blame game. If a child is a behavioral problem, they have ADD or ADHD. If you are lazy and have no energy you have chronic fatigue. If you don't know how to cope with problems you have depression. Now these things are all very real and there are people who actually suffer from them, but not at the numbers that are treated today. Today, these are easy explanations and fixes for a much deeper problem. It is easier to say a kid has ADD and shove meds down their throat than it is to actually put the time in with them to teach them how to concentrate and behave. When I was a kid, maybe one child in a class had ADD, now we are looking at a third of them being diagnosed. To me, it is a result of people not putting the time in as parents and expecting the teachers and doctors to deal with it for them. And these kids grow up to be adults who don't know how to cope, except to medicate themselves. Is this really the world we want to create and have to live in?

It's all an endless blame game...when are we going to start taking responsibility for our actions or lack of them. When are we going to revert back to a time where people stood on their own merit, and not blame others for their weaknesses? This country was built and advanced by people who persevered through tough times, yet in modern days we want everything handed to us. We are teaching our kids that they deserve everything their little hearts desire, regardless of if they have earned it. We are raising a generation of people who know that if something goes wrong, they can sue someone over it, take a pill for it, get an exemption for it, or blame someone else for it. I am all for helping someone out who needs a hand, but eventually there will be no one left to give out that helping hand, because we will all be the ones asking for it...

The King of her Castle

As I write this, I have a paper crown on my head. It is a construction paper crown that my daughter made at a craft store about a month ago. I can honestly say I never really thought I would be sitting around my house wearing a paper crown, but at the same time I wear it with pride. You see, I didn't decide to wear it so much as my daughter decided I would. She was playing with her toys and had on a princess tiara, and came to the conclusion that I needed to be royalty too. And like that, my life's purpose was made very clear to me. In her eyes, I was royalty. To her, we were royalty. And to her, I am not a guy with an image to uphold, but instead I am her king, just Daddy.

Such had become my life, a life of being the father of a little girl. She is two and a half, yet starting to become a little lady with her own opinions and ideas. It is a humbling situation, but not at all regretful. Instead of watching Sportscenter and CNN during the day, it is Barney and sesame Street. Instead of working outside or tinkering with a guitar, I learn about the Little Mermaid and help dress her dolls for her. And damn this new thing called Polly Pocket. for those of you without young daughters, Polly Pocket is like miniature Barbie dolls that have tine little rubber clothes and accessories. My daughter learned of Polly at her baby sitter's house, as her daughter has them. So of course we were suckered into buying her a starters kit, and now it is her favorite thing to play with. Of course these dolls and there clothes are very small and hard for a 2 year old's fingers to fully function, so I spend a considerable amount of time helping her dress and redress her dolls. I can't say it is something I ever dreamt about doing, but it is something I do without hesitation or thought because it is time spent with my daughter.

There are trips to the zoo or to the farm to pick apples and pumpkins that have replaced road trips and nights out at the bars. Going to the mall is now about looking for children's clothes and shoes and hair accessories instead of CD's or clothes for myself. A trip to Chuck E Cheese's or McDonald's means more than a meal at a fine restaurant, because all of these things show up as a look of amazement and happiness in my daughter's eyes. Life has become mostly about her and her happiness and what she takes out of things, and less about what I want or don't want.

And so here I sit, my crown on my head, my daughter singing and dancing and giving me the occasional hug and kiss on the cheek. Today is not an unusual day or an exceptional one, just another day in my life as a dad. these things that I would have once thought would be embarrassing or uninteresting are now just part of my life, and totally enjoyable. there is not one thing I wouldn't do for my daughter, and to me that is what being a parent is all about. It's not about giving them everything and anything they want, it is about showing them the world and experiencing with them. So that is what I do every day, I am with her, sharing the world and her world. So I am her dad, and also the king of her castle, and there is nothing wrong with that at all...

Closed Minded or Well Informed?

So a few days ago my wife and I were having a discussion and she called me closed-minded. Now this wasn't a heated discussion or even one of any importance, simply talking about current affairs and the such. So it wasn't that I was hurt or insulted so much as I just didn't agree with her assessment. So of course, being who I am I had to try my best to explain myself (to no avail I am sorry to say).

As anyone who knows me well enough or has read this blog could tell you, I am VERY opinionated. Hell, it is largely because of that trait that I started writing this blog. I don't hide it...in fact I embrace, defend and promote it. To me there is nothing wrong with being opinionated, so long as you are well informed about what it is your opinion is. And that my friends is exactly my defense against my wife's labeling me as "close minded". You see, it's not that I do not listen to or accept other people's theories or opinions. I will listen to any one's side of a particular story, but if I don't agree I will tell you I don't agree, and that disagreement is usually based on some fact.

The other facet of my being opinionated, the part that gets my wife and I'm sure others even more frustrated is that I do not always we things in black and white. To me, you can have differing opinions yet still be right, and I can accept that. You see, I don't ALWAYS have to win in a discussion (I just usually do). For instance, we were discussing charity and my wife's argument was that the particular charity was worth while. I agreed with her, but inserted that in addition to the financial part of the charity they should also be giving the people the tools or information so that they or the people following them would not need the charity going forward (this is a theme that I discussed in my previous post Kick Out the Crutch). Well this frustrated her, because I was not accepting her opinion without adding mine as well. But to me that is the way of the world more times than not. Is there always a right answer? No, there isn't...the right answer is usually a composite of several differing opinions or viewpoints.

You see, I may be opinionated to the highest degree, but I am not closed minded. I am open to many ideas and suggestions. To me, people having differing viewpoints and opinions is what makes this world and especially this country so great. It is what has advanced our society and has gotten us to where we are today. If we all thought the same way and went along with the same ideals, how fun would that be? We all have a mind, and we all think differently based on our life experiences. Now that being said, I know that I am right most of the time. That is not being conceited just confident in myself. I take a great amount of pride in being well informed and well rounded. I like to think that I know a little bit about a lot of things. And bottom line is if I get into a discussion about a certain topic, you can be sure that it is something I know quite a bit about and have studied the facts. And to me, that is the key. If you just go into a discussion half-cocked throwing out statements bases solely on emotion you most likely do not know what the hell you are talking about. But someone who has done their research can hold their own, and will be heard and respected.

So yes, I may be harsh and I may be opinionated, and you may not agree with some of the things that I say, but I am very open to ideas and thoughts. It just so happens that I see things for the bigger picture and have thought of all aspects before entering into a debate. I will respectfully take in differing viewpoints, but at the same time reserve the right to correct anything that is incorrect. But at the same time, and this is very important, I do not hold grudges. just because two people do not agree on something does not mean that they can not be friends or work or live together in harmony. The fact that we all have our own minds and our own beliefs and our own opinions is what makes this world so beautiful. But just be prepare yourself for the fact that I am always right...

I know I am Getting Old

I know that I am getting old because I find myself doing all the things that old people did when I was younger, all the things I never saw myself doing. I suppose it is something everyone goes through, but it never ceases to amaze one when they are the one going through it. The whole "I never thought I would say the things my parents did" is very cliche, but also so very true. I suppose it's just a part of life, a part of growing up. But it is such a scary realization because it means that we are not kids anymore, and that this life of ours is real.

I now find myself listening to talk radio at least fifty percent of the time I am in my car. sure, I will still blast some heavy metal CD's a lot of the time, but I also am finding more and more that I am listening to talk programs (and not only sports-talk, although that consumes part of time as well). i listen to a New Jersey talk radio station that mixes in comedy with real issues. But the thing I find that keeps me so interested is that so many of the issues they talk about each day I can either relate to or they effect my every day life. I now own a home, pay taxes and have a young child, so the things going on around me have a huge impact on my life now. Things such as where my tax money is going and what kind of education my daughter is going to get are huge things in my life now that I am in my 30's. Ten or fifteen years ago I would have though that listening to such a station was for "old people" and boring. Just a sign that I am getting old.

Another thing I never would have thought I would ever find myself doing was complaining about "these kids". It's the old saying "these kids today, we were never like that". Well not only is it a cliche that we all fall into, but the statement is also very true. Music, as an example, has changed through each generation. To a generation of parents the Beatles and Elvis were "noise", and now their music is not only classic but also considered very mild and mellow to most. And now a lot of the music I used to listen to as a teenager is being played on classic rock stations. But to walk through the mall and look around at the kids and teenagers is what really makes me feel old. Commenting on the clothing options, the lack of discipline, these are the same things that our parents' generation said about us. But at the same time, there is a lot of truth to the whole idea of the next generation not getting it.

So yes, the kids today are rude and dress funny and don't pay attention to the things they should. But neither did we when we were their age, and neither did our parents when they were that age, etc. And as much as we like to envision ourselves as always being hip and trendy and knowing what the coolest things are, fact is once we get older we don't. We start acting like and thinking like our parents, and we start being the "old people". But the key is to do it gracefully, to not lose track of our youth. there is nothing wrong with caring about politics or current events, but also be sure to keep up on the social changes. Sure, we might never be fully in tune with the next generation's style or technology, but we also shouldn't dismiss it just because it is different. Remember, it wasn't that long ago that it was us at the mall and someone else was shaking their head at us...

Move to the Right!

So this afternoon on my way into work, I am running late because of traffic of course. It doesn't help that it seems as though every main road and highway in the state of New Jersey is under construction. So even though I have a handful of different routes I can take, none of them are really a safe bet. So I am on the NJ Turnpike and there are 3 lanes of traffic struggling to even go the speed limit. As it turns out, I end up behind a car in the left lane who is doing 65 on the dot with not a care in the world. I flash my high beams just once and the car pulls to the middle lane, and I see what appears to be a middle-aged woman lean her hand down the outside of her door and flip me the bird. She then proceeds to move over to the far right lane (yes, where she should have been in the first place).

Now the reason I was dumbfounded that this woman flipped me the bird, is because she was so obviously in the wrong place doing the wrong speed. What possesses people to park in the far left lane of of of the most highly trafficked roads in the country going exactly the speed limit, and then to actually get pissed of when someone suggests that she move over where she should be to begin with? Did no one ever teach this person the rules of the road, never the less driving etiquette? Are people so petty and full of self-worth these days that the mean idea of being told you need to get over brings out such a reaction? Now I speak from first hand experience when it comes to road rage, because trust me I have a serious case of it. But what angers me when driving is stupidity. I am not one who is always in a hurry and has to be at the front of the line all the time. I do not feel the need for speed, and I do not weave in and out of traffic at high speeds. I simply want to get where I am going at a reasonable pace, without having to deal with idiots who do not know how to get along with others. But that seems to be what this world is becoming more and more full of.

Somewhere along the way people have either forgot or not been taught the rule of the road. the whole idea of "keep right except to pass" is not just a suggestion, but A LAW. Yet it is almost never enforced, and way too many people just don't care to follow it. That someone would feel it is their God given right to park in the left lane and damn everyone else is absurd, ad for that same person to get belligerent when flashed to move over is even more so. This is the kind of person whop ends up causing miles and miles of backups, all because they do not want to be stuck behind a tractor trailer (even though they are going the same speed). These people are also a main cause of accidents. When someone drives slowly in the passing lane it causes others to pass on the right, which is a dicey and dangerous situation, especially when there are 3 lanes and you may have two people trying to use the same middle lane to pass at the same time.

It is time that people start respecting each other on the roadways. There would be little to no road rage if we all started driving with respect (AKA move to the right and get the hell out of the way of those who actually have somewhere to be). And please, if you are not in a hurry and if you are scared of other vehicles and you can't stand the mere suggestion that you need to move over, then please just stay home until a person with a higher driving IQ can come and pick you up...

The Slippery Slope

The continuation towards a total lack of self-responsibility in this great country of ours is in high gear as we speak. The latest, and one of the most absurd, examples is in a potential lawsuit against McDonald's. No, it's not about people spilling shockingly hot coffee on themselves again, but this time over the inclusion of toys in their Happy Meals. Seems as though the CSPI, which claims to be a public watchdog group, is threatening a lawsuit claiming that including toys with Happy Meals is a marketing ploy to lure children into their store and to consume less than healthy foods. As I heard about this lawsuit and read more about it, the more infuriated I got. It seems as though this "free country" of ours is slowly becoming one where parents no longer have the right, or responsibility to raise their children the way they seem fit. If this lawsuit is heard in court, and especially if it is upheld, I am afraid to think of what will be next.

It seems that if it's not the government telling us how we should raise our children, it is the court system allowing lawsuits that basically accomplish the same thing to be heard. We not only live in a country where more and more people are passing the blame of their own bad parenting on to everyone and everything else, but we are allowing the dilution of our legal system by allowing so many frivolous lawsuits to be heard. This nutritional watchdog group that is filing the lawsuit against McDonald's should be spending their time and resources on making sure that businesses are following nutritional guidelines, maintaining healthy facilities, etc. They should not be deciding that it is a restaurant's job to play the role of parent to all American children. And when a suit like this is heard, and worse than that won or settled, it created a domino effect that shifts blame from consumers to the businesses. Was it really McDonald's fault that a woman spilled coffee on herself? And now every take out cup of coffee you get from any fast food joint has a message on it telling you that it's contents are hot. That is like Dairy Queen being forced to print on their cups "Contents are extremely cold". Makes no sense. Yet here we are, wanting to tell McDonald's that they can't include toys in their Happy Meals because it creates childhood obesity. And I still don't see how not including a toy in the meal is going to deter people from feeding their kids fast food. The smaller portions are most likely more of an attraction to parents than the toy is.

So the whole premise is that by including toys in the Happy Meals, and by advertising such (the nerve of a retail company to advertise a product), they are pushing young children to pressure their parents in to buying them these meals. And the implication is that this is fast food, so it is promoting unhealthy eating habits. Now as much as I agree that eating a lot of fast food is unhealthy, for adults as well as children, there are several issues with this thought process. First of all, if a parent is going to buy an extreme amount of Happy Meals for their child simply because the child is begging for the toys, then that is just bad parenting and I would be afraid to know what else their children are allowing them to do. Second, this is a free country, so no one should be forced not to feed their kid something that they want to. It is not the government's or the court's job to parent our children. The "slippery slope" that is so often spoken about is show quite clearly just in these two examples of cases with McDonald's...the allowing of the case of hot coffee eventually leads to the bringing of this lawsuit concerning Happy Meal toys. We allow the courts to tell us we can not make decisions for ourselves. We become a lazy society who sits back and lets the government tell us how to parent our children. These frivolous lawsuit should never be heard by any court.

The sad reality is that it is likely McDonald's will reach a settlement with this organization, where they will change their marketing strategy or the things that they include in the Happy Meals. They will do this in order to prevent possible bad publicity. But I say they should fight it with every bit of resources they have. The fact that something so simple and silly can be made such a big deal, all because we are afraid to stand up and take responsibility for raising our own children. It is as if they are saying "we can not raise our children right in a world with such bad options available", instead of TEACHING our kids how to live a balanced and healthy life. It reminds me of how several years back Camel cigarettes were told they could no longer use Joe Camel in their advertising, because it was construed as marketing smoking to minors. The fact that the caricature of a camel was going to make kids want to smoke any more than the fact that their own parents smoked is absurd, yet no one found that frightening. And the numbers relating to childhood smoking today don't really show that the ban was a success, do they?

There needs to be a movement in this country towards taking back responsibility for our parenting choices. We need to stop blaming everyone else for our children's problem, such as food chains, musicians, actors, medications, the rich, the poor, and the video games. If you are a responsible and engaged parent, you will know what your child is eating, drinking, playing with, listening to...and if it is the wrong thing than it is YOUR FAULT. But even if your kids are doing the wrong thing, it should not be against the law. We are free, and that means free to even make bad choices...

Kick the Crutch Out

Several years ago I was listening to a radio telethon that was raising money for food banks and the sort in New York. I was intrigued mostly by a guest who ran an organization that not only provided food for those who were in need, but also gave out advice on how to better make ends meet, and offered assistance in reaching these goals. It stuck with me because it makes so much sense, yet is so infrequently the way that help is given out these days. And it goes back to the way I was raised, and to the mentality that generations past had, which was to be self-sufficient and have self pride. These are things that for some reason have been lost in the last few decades in this country, becoming more of nostalgia and less a way of life. Now we are a society of beggars and people who feel things are owed to us, whether or not we have earned them, and it is a mentality that is making us weak.

There is no doubt that many people in this country have tried to do things on their own, but for one reason or the other they can't make ends meet. It is for these people that there are government programs to help assist, whether it be welfare or food stamps or other similar programs. There are also countless privately funded programs such as food banks, homeless shelters, clothing donations, etc. But for many, the reliance on this assistance becomes a crutch, and pretty much a way of life. Along those lines, and in a much larger scale, the United States government has taken what was 6 months of unemployment benefits (which could be extended to 12 months if proper effort to find a job landed none) and prolonged it to 2 years. And now they have approved lengthening those benefits even more because there are so many people out of work. Now as much as I understand the economy is bad and there is less of an abundance of jobs to be found, it is hard to believe that almost 3 million people in this country can not find a suitable job for over 2 years. What it is an example of is the longer you do something for someone, the more they rely on you.

In order to get people to be productive and independent, we need to kick the crutch out from underneath them. If you have a broken leg and need to use crutches to walk, that is understandable. But eventually, your bone heals. The only way to get the strength back in the leg is to start using it, little by little, until eventually you are back on your own, and you don't need the crutches anymore. But if you just continue to use the crutches and refuse to put your foot down and begin the process of healing, you will rely on those crutches forever. It is no different with government or charitable programs. These were designed to help get people back on their feet and get back to being productive citizens, but instead, by design in a lot of ways, have become that wicked crutch that does not go away. People all over the country rely on welfare checks and food stamps as a way of life, instead of a means to get their life back on track. The fault is two fold...on one hand it is human nature to allow yourself to be helped, and in many ways there is an attitude of entitlement forming in the country that "it isn't my fault, and someone needs to take care of me". But the main fault is the fact that as well-intended as most of these programs are, they are merely band aids, with no real forward thinking or plan for the future of those who use them. This has been something I have thought for years needs to be addressed.

It goes to what that food pantry I spoke of had in mind. Sure you want to feed the person who is hungry and can not eat properly, that is very admirable. But why don't we find out why it is that they are hungry to begin with? Are they sick? Did they lose their job? Do they have a disability? What about their family? The idea should not just be to take care of people now and today, but to help them going forward. Instead of a food bank that just feeds homeless people once a day or once a week, how about an organization that gets to the reason they can't eat on their own and try to give them the tools so that one day they can? If we could band together several programs, and also have local businesses tied in, a network of resources could be created that would not only help people in the present, but it would give them the tools they need to guide themselves down a new path. A network of motels or landlords that would rent out a place to live at a reduced cost so long as you are working. Places of business that would give jobs to those in the program. Local colleges and vocational schools that would give free or affordable classes to those who enlisted in the network. Surely this is something that could happen.

The same thing applies to welfare and unemployment benefits. It used to be in order to continue getting an unemployment check you would need to apply for a certain amount of jobs each week and show proof that you were not accepted. But now it is at a point where you can just check in online and still get your check. With welfare, we have created a way of life, a system where people live off of their welfare check and food stamps and do not go out and finds a primary income on their own. Is this all people? Not at all...but it is a good enough amount to where it is draining our resources. But again, these are people that could very well be productive members of their communities, if only they were forced to be. Laziness is something that will take hold if the opportunity is presented. If you do not allow people to use charity and government assistance as a way of life, but instead make it something that is to be earned, then you would see a lot of people turning their lives around and who knows what they could become.

If companies, charities, and government agencies would all work together to guide those who need help so that they can become self-sufficient citizens, we would all be better for it. Too many times we see those less fortunate as "bums" and "homeless" and figure their books have been written. Most feel that they do not want any more out of life. I have a hard time believing that. I truly believe that if given the resources and guidance many people could get their lives back on track, and be a benefit to the community. All it takes is to kick the crutch out and make them get their strength back...

About My Wife

This past Sunday was Mother's day, a day we spend taking care of and reflecting on those women in our lives that mean the most to us and have raised their children without any consideration for themselves. It got me thinking about my wife, and how in the last two years things have changed in our lives since having our daughter. It got me thinking about how she has changed, yet how she has remained the same as before she was a mom. How I feel about her now compared to how I felt about her before. So many things that seem to always go untold, but the feelings have always been there.

My wife is one of the most stubborn people I know...and I am very stubborn myself so I know the signs quite well. She is also one of the most selfless people I have ever known, always has been. And most importantly, she is the most loving woman I have ever met. All these things are what gave her a predisposition to be a wonderful mother. From the day we found out she was pregnant and that we were going to be parents she was intent on being the best mother she could be. As cool and collected as I was and took all the planning in stride, she was a nervous wreck and questioned everything. But it was her way of being prepared. And even through the many moments of self doubt that she had during her pregnancy, I always knew that she was more than well prepared for motherhood. So when our precious daughter was born, my wife may have changed from Jessica to Mommy, and her priorities may have shifted just a bit, but she was still the same amazing woman that always made me feel so special. Just now her main focus turned to our baby.

The stubbornness I spoke of came about shortly after delivery, as she was intent on nursing as long as she could, which she did. It continued several months later when she started to make and freeze our own baby food as she had planned on during her pregnancy. She was, and still is, constantly reading book s and magazines and online articles trying to learn as much as she can about parenting and how to be a great parent. She had set her mind at being a wonderful mother and she has been way more than that from day one. I see the time she puts in with our daughter, how she not only plays with her and has fun, but how she teaches her life lessons. And I see the adoration that my little girl has for her mommy in her face every time she sees her. And I know look and feeling, because it is the same one that I have had since I have know her.

As wonderful a companion and wife as she is, she is just as much a mother, if not more. The love that I felt for her for all the things she had done for me before, I now feel that even more when I see her channel that energy towards our daughter. There is something about seeing a person go without in an effort to give their child everything possible. As much as my wife has kept her independence and individuality and remained a professional woman, she is first and foremost a mom. She worries that she isn't spending enough time with her daughter when she is at work, yet sees the benefit of of having her own adult time. She enjoys stopping on the way home from work to pick up a little something special for her daughter "just because". She loves saying "she is her mother's daughter" to anyone who will listen. She has taken this motherhood thing and embraced it, and in turn gotten more satisfaction out of it than anything I have ever seen while I have known her.

And the thing that makes my wife so special, is that with so much of her time and energy spend being Mommy she is still my wife. She still does the little things that tell me she loves me. She still enjoys spending time together, even if it is not as much time as we used to have. She is not only a mother, but she is a strong, beautiful woman. And being a great mom just makes me look at her not in a new light, but in a brighter one. I always knew she would be a special mother, but the best part is that I get to watch her each and every day. And as proud as I am of her and what she means to our daughter, I know that I am the lucky one for having her in my life...

The Greatest Gift

Something hit me this morning when I woke to the sound of my two year old daughter giggling, I walked into her room, she looked at me from her bed and said "Hi Daddy!". It was the most simple of moments, yet so full of meaning. With that phrase my heart gushed, my eyes welled, and my chest filled with pride. Not that I didn't already feel this way, but it was that simple moment that confirmed to me that being a father is the greatest gift in the world.

I had been somewhat selfish most of my life growing up, not in the sense that I was all about me so much as just did what I wanted when I wanted it. Bought things I didn't need, went places I wanted to go to, basically lived life for me. Then a little over 2 years ago my daughter, Samantha Shea, was born, and that life as I knew it came to an abrupt end. It's not something that was thought about or decided, it just happens. In that one moment that she began to breath the same air as the rest of us, she became my life and my reason for being here. Now, I may want things, but I don't always get them, or feel the need to get them. Now instead of going away for the weekend with my wife or vacationing in the Caribbean, I go to Sesame Place and actually enjoy it. When my wife asks me sometime in November what I want for Christmas I struggle for answers, because in all honesty I am only concerned with making my daughter happy and seeing the joy in her face as she opens her gifts. Life has changed, and changed for the better no doubt about it.

It is hard to put into words what being a parent is like, and I think even harder to explain what being the Dad of a little girl is about. It is something that we all know is important on many levels, protective, caring, strength. But deep down there is something that escapes words. As much as you want to protect her and hold her close so that nothing or no one hurts her, you also want to do everything you can to make her a strong woman. As much as you want her to be Daddy's little tomboy and know all about your favorite teams, you also want her to be the little lady that is the most beautiful in her class. It is a contradiction of sorts, yet all comes from just wanting her to be the best person she can be.

Because of my work schedule I have the great fortune of being able to be home with my daughter during the morning and afternoon. This is something that I welcomed, and something that I treasure each and every day. Sure, it is tough when I am sick and just want to stay in bed, yet she keeps pulling at my arm telling me "Daddy up!". But I can not imagine what life would be like if I did not get to spend the time with her that I do. As much as I teach her about how to count and spell and play, I honestly do think that she teaches me more. She has taught me patience, which has never been my strong point. She has taught me humility, as I do not mind changing diapers and sharing child care tips with other moms and dads. But what she has taught me more than anything, is selflessness. My life is about her and my wife, and not about me. I honestly can not remember what life was like before she was born, and I shudder at the thought of what life will be like when she is old enough to go to school and will no longer be around the house when I am home during the day. But that one phrase, "Hi Daddy!", has way more meaning and way more weight than anything that I have every heard. Because of her, I feel like my life has meaning, and for that I thank her and I thank my wife for giving me this gift...